MONDAY INSPIRATION

Show them, girls!

HAVE A MAN, HAVE IT ALL. REALLY?

One of our First Ladies, Thobeka Madiba-Zuma, put her foot where her mouth is this past week when she said that “having it all” means achieving a balance between motherhood, a successful career and the role of loving and supportive spouse.

She was quoted saying “I think for us to succeed in our struggles we cannot leave men out of the equation. We need to have men because they play an important role in our lives, and I think if we are to win the struggle we have to have them on board”.

As I have always thought of her as a progressive thinker, I hope that she was quoted out of context as this statement is very disappointing.

The role of women in society has evolved over the years. Current social and political dynamics encourage flexibility of roles and present freedom of choice.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m for traditional families and I do believe that men add value in the lives of women. I just don’t think that men should validate women or be the approval stamp of having it all.

Women have unique ambitions and goals.  There are those who aspire to be wives, there are those who choose to stay single to advance their careers and there are those who single-handedly raise their children, whether voluntary or otherwise. The position of these women in society should be equally respected, without judgement or condemnation.

My concern is that Madiba-Zuma was speaking to a group of young girls who may grow up and subject themselves to frustration, abuse, self-critic and unnecessary pressure in pursuit of the misconceived idea of completeness.

The measure of “having it all” should be at every woman’s individual discretion and no member of society should place prejudice against that.

MY LITERARY WINTER WARMERS

Here are some literary oldies that I’ve been cuddling up with:

·         The Promise by Lesley Pearse (2012): This is a sequel to “Belle”, the initial book which I haven’t read.

Belle Reilly has worked hard to reconstruct her life after unfortunate and shameful events of her past (unfolded in “Belle”).  She is living her dream of being a respected business woman with a loving husband. It’s in 1914 and World War One hits Blackheath in London, threatening to shatter her life and unveil her dark past.

The author masters the art of taking the reader back to Belle in order to understand what shaped this character. She also takes the reader into the First World War, from its battle scenes to its brutal impact on relationships and life in general. It also trails upon how the role of women was viewed by society in that era.

This book reveals that our weaknesses can sometimes be our strengths, depending on our point of view. It trades on the sweet promise of love and the deviant spirit of a determined woman.

This was an enticing read that I recommended for lazy hibernating weekends.

·         Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou (2009): I’ve written about my love and admiration for this writer. After her passing I revisited this book which I had initially read in 2010.

I remembered how I was drawn to it by the synopsis “I gave birth to one child, a son, but I have thousands of daughters. You are Black and White, Jewish and Muslim, Asian, Spanish speaking, Native Americans and Aleut. You are fat and thin and pretty and plain, gay and straight, educated and unlettered, and I am speaking to you all. Here is my offering to you.”

As I read it I felt like I was in conversation with her, drinking from her wisdom. She was talking to me like a mother would to her daughter, with conviction and counsel.

In this book Maya Angelou lays her pain and mistakes bear, but importantly, she teaches how she overcame her setbacks.

I would recommend you read and keep this book as a poetic guide to living a meaningful life, to help you rise from your falls and to serve as a reminder of your worth whenever you are placed in a space of compromise.

  

It's Hibernation Season

Wondering where I've been and what I've been up to? Well, this summarizes it:

Cape Town is bitterly cold, windy and wet and so I've resorted to hibernating. I spend my quality time coiled up like a cat next to the fireplace, with my nose in a book and a pot of tea or an occasional glass of red wine. Spare me all the picnics and parties. I’m happy here.

I’ll be telling you about some interesting reads I've stumbled upon soon. Therefore, please forget me not.