HAVE A MAN, HAVE IT ALL. REALLY?

One of our First Ladies, Thobeka Madiba-Zuma, put her foot where her mouth is this past week when she said that “having it all” means achieving a balance between motherhood, a successful career and the role of loving and supportive spouse.

She was quoted saying “I think for us to succeed in our struggles we cannot leave men out of the equation. We need to have men because they play an important role in our lives, and I think if we are to win the struggle we have to have them on board”.

As I have always thought of her as a progressive thinker, I hope that she was quoted out of context as this statement is very disappointing.

The role of women in society has evolved over the years. Current social and political dynamics encourage flexibility of roles and present freedom of choice.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m for traditional families and I do believe that men add value in the lives of women. I just don’t think that men should validate women or be the approval stamp of having it all.

Women have unique ambitions and goals.  There are those who aspire to be wives, there are those who choose to stay single to advance their careers and there are those who single-handedly raise their children, whether voluntary or otherwise. The position of these women in society should be equally respected, without judgement or condemnation.

My concern is that Madiba-Zuma was speaking to a group of young girls who may grow up and subject themselves to frustration, abuse, self-critic and unnecessary pressure in pursuit of the misconceived idea of completeness.

The measure of “having it all” should be at every woman’s individual discretion and no member of society should place prejudice against that.