MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WOES

After spending three consecutive days finalising my Christmas shopping, I can safely say I’ve had my fair share.  Here are some of the things I hate about shopping:

·    The endless process of looking for parking.

·   Too many people...like I’m not one of them.

·   Queues at pay points.

·   Queues at restaurants.

·   Queues at gift wrapping stations.

·  .Queues in the ladies rooms.

·   Ok...queues.

·   People who jump queues. That’s just ghetto.

·   Noisy unruly kids.

·   Worse still, kids who scream while rolling on the floor.

·    Kids.

·    Thin Santa Clause in a worn-out costume. Not cool.

·    Mistaking a shopper for a shop assistant. Oops, my mistake.

·    Shop assistants who follow you around, giving a commentary for every item you touch.

·   People who blatantly bump your ankles with trolleys and think that a lousy “sorry” will take away the crippling pain.

·         People who snatch parking that you've patiently been waiting for while the other car takes it’s time pulling out of the parking bay.

·         People who fill up the elevators when they don’t have a pram, trolley or heavy parcels. Take the escalators or stairs!

·         People who find you waiting for the elevator and press the already illuminated button. Your special touch won’t make the elevator come faster, stupid!

·         Worse still, people who find you waiting for the elevators and be the first ones to push inside, not even allowing other people to get off.

·         People who wait in the queue to pay for parking and only scratch for coins when they've inserted their parking ticket in the machine. How about sorting out your coins while you wait!

·         Too many tempting specials.

·         Security guards who insist on checking your bags and purchased goods when the shop has a detection system. Do I look like a thieve?!

·         Couples who walk around holding hands, blocking the way.

·         Couples who fondle and kiss. Public indecency, get a room!

·         Bad service. It’s not my problem that you’ve been working long strenuous hours. 

·         Too much Boney M.

·         People who drop clothing items on the floor and leave them there. Do the decent thing and pick up after yourself.

·         People who snatch the last item on the shelf that you've also been eyeing.

·         Trolley attendants who insist on pushing your trolley no matter how much you explain that you don’t need help. 

·         When shopping is finally done, spending time looking for your car and reporting it stolen only to discover you were looking for it at the wrong place.